and then there was life

There's something strange about having created a blog and not used it ONCE in three years to actually, y'know, write a blog.

Of course, back in 2007 is when shit hit the fan in my life and there wasn't much that I WAS writing about. The less I wrote, the less chances there were to let slip all the bad that was happening in my life.

And then things got better (as they always seem to do) before getting crazy (in a good way). In 2008, the House of Chaos was born, if a domicile can have a name that's more like a title.

Yes, I'm glossing things over. Something about the past being behind me and good riddance. Sort of like hitting my 30s. They rock WAAAY more than my 20s.

Sure, there's this whole working second shift thing, and that seems to be sucking my soul away a bit with every day I have to swipe my punchcard, but hey, I get to come home to a wonderful and thoughtful husband as well as a sweet (and sour) little boy who bombards me with hugs and kisses just about the moment I walk in the door. Circumstances suck, my life does not.

This weekend will bring about the second night ever I have been away from my son the whole night. It's going to be dreadful. See, thing is, when you wait until you're older to have children, you tend to WANT to be around them, you WANT to sacrifice your social life to be with them. The other day a coworker said, about me wanting to take the day off from work so I could go with Boo and the husband for trick-or-treating, that he was only two. And, y'know, SO WHAT. He's nearly two, and yeah, he probably won't remember this Halloween... But *I* will. I didn't have a child so that I could miss all the important stuff because I have to WORK. It matters to me to be there for him. It matters a lot.

I wish I could tell my mother how much I understand now, all the things she did for my brothers and I while growing up, all the sacrifices she made, the shitty jobs she worked, the times she took off from her jobs to watch us do our things for and after school. I wish I could tell her "I get it. I get it. I get it." and "Thank you." How much it took out of her and how much it was worth it to her to do these things for us because she loved us.

There really IS no other love like a parent to a child. You can't even love your partner like you do your child. There is no comparison.