over it

Some days it really is overwhelming and daunting that I am the primary breadwinner.  I am sick of being the one to pay all the bills, to buy all the treats, to pay for all medical bills with MY flex money, and to tuck some money aside for "us" as well as Boo.

Yes, Erik has a job.  Sure, he buys the groceries...  Sure, sometimes he remembers to give me some money to help pay for the fancy phone and phone plan we HAD to have...  But sometimes is not regular enough, and it's still just me, paying everything.

I want to be the one who works four hours a day and then comes home and spends the rest of the day with my son, fitting in a nap and some tv.  I want to be the one where, if I wake up too early (or, like today, Boo wakes up too early), I don't feel like the world is ending because I'm over-tired and still have to deal with entitled customers instead getting an hour or so of much-needed shuteye.

I am sick of being the one to tow the line.  It's been four years now.  I'm over it already.  I want a fucking reprieve.  I want validation, that all this has been for something and that sometime soon I will get some kind of reward.  And I want to feel like I'm not whining when I express what I want.