As we approach the end of the first month of 2012, I am finding I'm dreading the Day. Y'know, the one I said I would be all nonchalant and zen about, to take in stride... The Expected Period Day. Except I'm not all nonchalant and zen. Granted, I'm not spazzing and freaking, but I do find myself in dread of it. Erik and I did give it a good go at trying this month, but I'm still dreading the thought that another month went by and nothing. Which, dammit, will be just fine in the end because, dammit, Boo is awesome-sauce.
But here it is. Three days to go. Maybe four. And I'm already tempted to take a pg test, as if that's going to be accurate right now or anything, even if it says it can tell you "up to five days before you're late". Uhhh, sure. Anyway, I almost used one this morning. I lay in bed as long as possible (it's warm and snuggly under there and cold and NOT snuggly outside!) struggling with the urgent need to pee, and I told myself, "If Boo's awake, there's your sign to not take the test." Sure enough, I finally got out of bed and his head popped up as I peeked in his room. "HI!" I laughed to myself and went "Okay, okay Universe, I get it."
But then I had this dream last night that Erik and I were in either Thailand or Singapore, in a house-like place for some bizarre extended stay, and he wanted a little action. With his two pronged penis. Yeah, I don't get it, either. Except that I looked it up and penises in dreams apparently mean something like sexual energy, power, aggression, or fertility. So whatever, right? I told Erik, and he's all "It's gonna be twins." Makes me wish I was practiced at my tarot cards so I could give myself a quick reading. As if I'd be unbiased enough to accurately read them.
So now, patience. And probably a healthy dose of tears no matter how this waiting game ends.
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